A lot has been said about the importance of mothers in a daughter’s life. It has often been credited to a mother as to how much a gentlewoman her daughter has turned into. The most understated role in this transformation is that of her father. I would not say that father daughter relationships have been overlooked. A lot of sensitive hearts took it upon themselves to portray the beauty of this relationship. The most successful attempt at it, for me, remains the film ‘ The father of the bride’. It is perhaps a moving canvas of the deepest felt emotions. No word, no expression, no emotion is left untouched. There might be more but there is a limit to what the camera can capture. Anyway, I can debate on that later. I am sure there is no way I can list down every point of why a father is important in his daughter’s life yet I will try- and for me this attempt remains dedicated to my father.
PAYS HER BILLS
I am sure this is almost irrelevant but is a fact nevertheless. No strings attached there and I can picture those high heeled stilettos coming flying at me, but those unmarried, not working young ladies- remember your dad paid for that too. From when you are born to when you want it to be so, he pays your bills, checking his expenses if the need be. You probably would not have worn that beautiful up street gown on your prom had it not been for his generosity, Not to forget the signature nude Louboutins that add height and a lot more grace to your personality. So, you do agree that he is important because he pays our bills. Don’t you? And do not misinterpret it, this is the least important reasons of why he is important.
ASK HIM WHEN MOM SAYS NO
Not because he is foolish enough to buy her reasons. Not because he has not realized the gravity of the situation as mom suspects. Just because he chooses to say a yes as he has little heart to face her disappointment. He decides to curb his insecurities, his reasons for a no and convinces himself with her reasons for a yes. He knows it all, he really does. He is silent because she is not only his weakness but also his strength. And he is not important for saying a yes when mom says no, but for disappointing himself in trying to not disappoint her.
THE FIRST SUPERHERO SHE KNOWS
A father is the first and sometimes only superhero that a daughter knows, specially one like me who preferred doll houses over superman costumes. He could lift her in the air, walk miles with her weight, save her from trouble and buy her chocolates to see her smile. What else would one wish for in a superhero?
HER FIRST LOVE
A father is his daughter’s first love. Not just that, he is also the man who teaches her how to love. In how he treats her mother, she learns exactly how she should be treated by the man she decides to fall in love with. He is most probably the first man she opened her eyes to, and for him it was love at first sight.
HE RAISED A LADY
While a mother raises a girl, a dad raises a lady. He gives her the courage to be her. He instils in her the integrity and respect he believes she should exhibit. He eases her emotions. He makes her strong-headed. He is one of the most important if not the only reason to her graceful and dynamic personality. He is the man who got insecure just so she gets mature enough to learn to let go of insecurities. He was possessive for her to know how it feels to be loved. He raised her into the impeccable personality she is today.
HIS INDIFFERENCE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE
Fathers are often seen to be indifferent towards incidents that mothers panic about. While mothers preach how one should live fathers don’t tell you how to live. They live and let you watch it. It is not from their words but actions that you learn. And those lessons once learnt are there to stay for life. In watching him live, you know exactly how you want to live
HE BELIEVES IN HER
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give to another person, he believed in me.” As Jim Valvano put it, it is that gift of his trust in her that has kept her up. He has mentored her, protected her, guided her through it all and most of all believed in her. He made her believe in herself by believing in her. He is the only man who knows that she is the best woman who has ever lived and is still busy discovering herself. That is the trust he would probably not have had on himself too. It takes a lot to give what you couldn’t keep and that he does.
DEAR HUSBAND, BE LIKE MY FATHER
He is how her daughter’s father should be. Speaking in a traditional sense, if her daughter’s father is the man you see your soul mate in, there is no denying the fact that he walks up the scale at the end of which is her father. There is no other way you can imagine him to be. And she will still argue with her daughter about whose father is better. Her father is the epitome of every role that a man ever plays, that of a son, father, husband and every other role that situations demand him to play. If the person she is choosing to marry is even a part like your father, she can rest assured it is the best decision she has taken.
HE IS HER MAN
“A father is a template of a man Nature gives a girl.” Alison Pearson famously said. He is that one man who can never be flawed. Happen what may, he might be wrong at times but he is never wrong. He is who gives a definition to the word ‘Man’ in his daughter’s life. The first man she ever knew. He is how she learns to differentiate boys from men. Maybe a little here and there, but he is a man if he’s like my father. This is what I believed atleast. And he is the man who would remain hers forever, till he lives and beyond. As the clichéd saying goes he is the only man who can never see tears in her eyes.
HE IS WHY SHE IS
There is no reason bigger than this. No arguments to counter it. Her existence is a part of him. She is a part of his flesh and blood. She has the same DNA. She is a part of him. He is important because if not for him, she wouldn’t have happened at all. He is important because he is her very source of life. He is important because he is why she is important. He is important because he knows she is an extension of him and still he willingly gives away a piece of his life in marriage to a man just because he wishes to see her happy and loved. For him no amount of love in the world is enough for her. Fathers do not need reasons to be important in their daughters’ life. He is important for being him.