10. The fandom
This couple is obsessed with a single topic, be it a TV series like Game of Thrones or a game like Dungeons and Dragons. It doesn’t matter what the object of their attention is, they are well and truly infatuated to the point of insanity.
If we were ever to have the misfortune of uttering a single word against their one true love… we should prepare for death. They would be furious, they would be so mad that the little vein on their temple would begin to throb and their faces would turn bright red. It’s best to avoid mentioning their fandom in case you accidently offend them.
The problem is you can’t avoid talking about their fandom because that’s all they talk about, they are constantly reminding you of how you should watch their show or play their game. You, on the other hand, are stretching the limits of your imagination by thinking up new and creative ways to avoid the continuous invitations, my favorite excuse is:
Them: You should come play this game with us!
Me: Oh, I’m sorry. I’m really busy.
Them: But we didn’t say when…
Me: I’m busy all the time. In fact, I’m busy right now, see ya.
If you know a couple like this, then I wish you all the best in fielding their constant advances and tolerating all the unnecessary references to said fandom.
11. The sports crazed
The natural habitat of this couple is on the couch watching the latest game, doesn’t matter which sport it is, they’re watching it beer in hand and pretzel to mouth. When they invite you over, be prepared for a night of fun, by fun I mean intense yelling at the TV because the little man inside the magical box failed to kick the ball.
I can guarantee that at least once during the night something will be hurled at the TV. I hurt for the TV. On the plus side, you are always provided with an assortment of snacks, this makes all the verbal abuse that substitutes commentary worth it.
12. The snoops
This couple is consumed with the need to know what the other one is up to at all times. They go to truly extraordinary lengths. They check their partner’s texts and photos when they’re not in the room, they stalk their Facebook profile, making note of every like. They live for Twitter and Instagram posts.
All in all, this isn’t that bad. It becomes so when they start physically stalking their partners by suddenly appearing at their work to give them lunch, when they really want to make sure that they’re still at work. When asked why they do this, they say they want to make sure that their partner isn’t cheating and that they really love them. But wait, it gets worse; sometimes they even recruit you.
A poor soul once told me that they were forced by their friend, let’s call her Amy, to prank call her boyfriend, let’s call him Luke, and to tell him that Amy was in the hospital. You see Amy, like the unhinged person that she is, needed to know how Luke would react so that she could know if he truly loved her. Let’s all promise ourselves that we won’t get to this level of crazy. If you’ve already done this, then there is no hope for you, go forth and continue to be your uninhibited self.
13. The pranksters
This pair LOVES pranks, they are constantly playing inventive pranks on each other. You’re constantly laughing at their antics and all their creative strategies. However, the problem lies with when they believe that it’s an absolutely great idea to play a prank on you. The classic is to run up behind you and violently shake you, which always produces a scare.
I am constantly worried about where the next attack is coming from, not only that; I’m worried about the crying wolf situation. I imagine that someday someone will grab me and I won’t be scared, only to turn around and find a serial killer. Sure, it’s unlikely, but one has to be prepared. So for all the pranksters out there, I love your antics, in fact I love them so much I’d like to appreciate them from a far.
Naturally, there are many more types of couples, so which relationship type would you add? Let me know which annoying couple you are, and how you manage to get on your friends’ nerves. I’m looking forward to reading the stories.