How can I shift my emotions?
First, let’s talk about how to stop feeling like the victim. We attract every relationship to us and we are responsible for letting that person into our lives. We can learn how to see the red flags we missed for the next relationship, but there’s much more to not taking another person’s actions personally and it’s about the ability to respond or response-ability.
We can put ourselves into that person’s shoes and realize they have stress, they are growing, they are not perfect and they experience temptations, guilt, moments of mental relapse and have to learn as well.
When we can send them love and realize their actions do not change who we are as a person and are separate from us, we can stop hating them and release anger.
When we have sympathy for their learning process and remind ourselves when we did things we were not proud of, we realize that they also are just human like us. The positive emotions to focus on are forgiveness, compassion and thankfulness. Be thankful you were able to learn from the relationship.
Now, how do we deal with guilt? Well, we can replace the low vibration feeling of guilt by focusing on our positive traits and building them. Focus on giving positive support to others and you will start to feel good about yourself again. Try using affirmations such as, “I release all guilt I have surrounding this situation.” Realize you are doing your best and forget the rest.
Make a list of actions you can take to not repeat whatever you may be feeling guilty about and then focus on the feeling of gratitude for being empowered not to make the same decisions that will cause you pain in the future.
Think about where your reactions and decisions came from, how you were influenced by your prior experiences to do what you did. Maybe you have witnessed similar behaviors or you were struggling with your self-esteem.
To build up your self-esteem and regain a feeling of optimism, focus on the emotions that make you feel excited about your life. Affirmations such as, “I believe I can accomplish my dreams,” “people enjoy being around my positive energy” and “all women have natural beauty,” are examples of ways to create new neural pathways in your brain.
If your relationship left your confidence in the gutter, you can start to rebuild it right now. Make a list of your positive traits and the things you’re good at, and then create a list of goals that use those traits.
When you have something positive to look forward to and work toward, you will feel optimistic about the future.