Most men, if not all, have always taken time to feel comfortable around gay men. While some men manage to get along, a few others just can’t do it. Why do men have such a difficult time being friends with gay men?
In school and in college, the guy showing gay tendencies will always be sidelined by the majority. Not that the guy minds it in any way though. The reason for this, most of the time, is that the growing lads are still carving identities for themselves and while the gay guy is streets ahead, having already found his calling, the rest are still ‘beating’ themselves down the beaten track. To be seen with this overly gentle guy who speaks with his hands and shakes a bit about the hips when he walks, is for them, self-defeating.
The girls dig this guy
But this gentle guy in class, who always topped art, is a hit with the women. And that’s the rub. His best friends were girls and he had several of them. He could call them names, and they’d giggle in happiness. It irritated you.
They held hands, hugged and even kissed him on his cheeks, but what about you? They’d come up with a million excuses before they even sat next to you during lunch. “Why did they love this faggot so much? Why? Why? Why?” “And hey, what if he doesn’t grow up to be a faggot?!”
Why am I being hit on?
Then there’s the scariest definer of them all. Suddenly, you find that this guy who’s so obviously gay has taken a fancy to you. Now you’ve always known that gay people stick with other gay people. Very rarely do they seduce a non-gay person. So why then is this same-sex person hitting on you? “Am I sending out the wrong signals inadvertently? What if I am and I don’t know it? Does that mean I’m one of them?” More shivers!
Now here’s the truth. Most of us are capable of homosexual behavior. Some of us may have had homosexual experiences in the past, perhaps during our childhood. Or worse, we may have been abused by an adult of the same sex. All this can sow a seed of doubt within us. But we must remember that one robin does not a summer make and one homosexual experience does not a queer make.
It’s really that simple, says gay writer Scott Bidstrup. He says, “For me, being gay means that I prefer relationships with men. I’ve had them with women, but I prefer them with men. Both sexually and emotionally. That’s what qualifies me as being gay. So all you heterosexual men out there who’ve experimented or experienced this at some time in your youth, sit back and relax. Just because you have, even if you enjoyed it, doesn’t mean you’re gay. And even if you are, isn’t it important to know yourself?” Think about it!
If you’re gay, you are. If you aren’t, you aren’t. And if one of your friends is a homosexual, understand that it’s his preference and he’s happy being who he is. So really, why bother with another man’s sexual interests unless you’re not perfectly happy with your own?