Men, what would make your Christian wife want to leave you quick fast and in a hurry? That’s the question I asked my wife. With great passion, she started breaking down the reasons why. She referenced examples from our 16 years of marriage and 14 years of mentoring couples in our business, Family Bootcamp. It got serious! After she was done, I wrote this blog post from the female perspective…in response to the male perspective on why Christian men want to be single again.
I can feel some men already getting defensive. Calm down. This is not male bashing. I have neither the time nor the inclination to heighten my acclaim by denigrating others. So let’s have an honest and respectful conversation about why your wife might secretly want to leave you. If these points don’t apply to you, then God bless you. However, if they do, then take heed to these recommendations…and God bless you too.
1. “Why do I Have to Make All the Decisions?!”
My wife’s #1 reason was: “She makes all the decisions.” As she put it, “No woman wants a soft man.” Meaning, no woman feels secure with an “indecisive, whimpy man” that’s scared to take initiative or stand up for what he believes in. “A woman wants a man that knows how to make decisions”…tough decisions…she can put her trust in. If you fail to make these decisions, “or seem wishy-washy about the decisions you make”, how can you expect her to feel secure?
For the record…she’s not talking about a man who makes unilateral decisions without consulting his wife. Or a man who makes decisions by thumping his chest and screaming, “I’m the head of this household! You have to submit to me!” That’s a sign of weakness…not decisiveness. (Hint: If you have to announce your status or title to gain compliance, you’ve already lost.) She’s talking about a man who takes initiative to come up with a plan or suggestion to be discussed…instead of waiting for his wife to initiate everything. If this applies to you, then start making good decisions by initiating solutions for small task-oriented problems so that you can get some quick wins. Be prepared to discuss your reasoning with your wife to gain buy-in. This will build confidence in your decision making. Then gradually begin initiating solutions to more important issues in your marriage.