So you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time- we’re talking weeks, months, years- and you still haven’t gotten the ring. He tells you he loves you and you’re sure he’s the man for you. You want to spend the rest of your life with him, but he just hasn’t gotten down on one knee yet. What are you doing wrong? Check out these 7 must know tips on how to get him to propose!
1. First Find Out: Does He Want to Get Married?
Men aren’t like women. Women (for the most part) are on a mission to find the man of their dreams, settle down in the perfect home, and chase after cute little rugrats with dinner on the table for their partner every night. But a lot of men are afraid- or should I say petrified- of the thought of marriage, and would rather avoid it altogether. Before you even think about a future saying ‘I do’ on the altar with your boyfriend, you need to first find if he even wants to get married. And hey, some guys just don’t. So if he says absolutely not, don’t take it offensively.
2. Evaluate: Is it the Right Time to Get Married?
You could take this a lot of different ways. First and foremost, are the two of you ready for this type of commitment? You need to make sure you know him well enough to be able to spend the rest of your life with him. After all, if you find out something you absolutely despise later on in the marriage, it could be grounds for divorce. Make sure the two of you know each other extremely well and have reached a certain connection that can’t be broken.
Secondly, you need to look at finances. A wedding typically costs a few thousand dollars, and that’s not including the dress, wedding cake, seating, and everything else that goes into your dream wedding. This could lead to a hefty bill costing you well over ten thousand dollars. And aside from an expensive wedding, you have to think about how costly it is to rent an apartment/condo/house, on top of other bills like electricity, cellphones, water, trash- it adds up pretty quickly. Are the two of you financially ready for marriage?
Lastly, is it a good point in your guys’ lives where you’re ready to take the plunge? If you’re both on the young side, it might be best to wait it out a bit longer to make sure there’s no problems. Or if someone is planning to move off for college, you might want to wait till after they are done. Perhaps there was a traumatic event in one of your lives which would halt you from giving 100 percent to the wedding and marriage. If there isn’t a clear path for the two of you at the moment, wait until there is ‘sunny skies’ before making this type of life changing and time consuming commitment.
3. Think: Are You Pressuring Him?
If it’s been several months or years and he still hasn’t gotten down on one knee, you need to ask yourself this important question: are you pressuring him? Nothing scares a guy off from marriage more than a pressuring woman. He doesn’t want to be pressured (and don’t make me repeat myself!). This is not only scary to him, but is also a big turn off as you may come across as a needy gal. Don’t talk about your perfect wedding, don’t talk about when you want to get married, and most importantly don’t ask him when he is going to propose. He wants to be the man and make that huge decision on his own, so don’t pressure him!
However, if you do want to say at least one thing about your wedding dreams, let it be something in regards to your dream wedding ring. A lot of men halt their proposals for the simple fact that they don’t know what kind of ring to get their lady. The next time you two are walking through the mall and you come across a wedding shop, just casually mention which one you think is breathtaking. Then let it go and continue walking to the next shop. Totally casual, yet it will stick in his mind until he pops the question.
4. Think: Are You Dropping Subtle Hints?
There’s a difference between saying, “I wish we were married right this instant” and “I wouldn’t mind spending many more fun, exciting, and romantic years together”, just like there’s a difference between “Why haven’t you proposed to me yet” and “What age do you see yourself getting married”. It’s totally OK to drop subtle hints, or mask your pressuring questions with a simple question that doesn’t really give it away. Subtle hints are the best and it also gives him the confidence to ask for your hand in marriage. I know we don’t really think it, but men get scared too- and nobody wants to be rejected. These little hints just let him know you’d say yes, if the question were to come up at random.