Love and relationships require a ton of sacrifice. We all know this. It’s all fun and games in the beginning and during your honeymoon phase. But being in a relationship, like anything else that is worth having, requires work.
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I am all for compromise and trying to make your significant other happy. But I am also all for making sure you’re not giving up your entire life for a relationship. When people do that, and neither they nor the relationship, tend to end up very well. So here are five things you shouldn’t have to give up for your boo.
1. Your fundamental values and beliefs
Who you are, begins with what you do. Or so we’ve been told. And whether you take this literally or metaphorically, at least some of it is true. The problem with giving up your beliefs for another person is that you give up the core of what makes you, you. And the truth is if you have to give up the things that make you, you for the love of another person, what does that say about the kind of love they are willing to give you?
2. Your friends and family
Everybody has a different relationship with their friends and family. But if someone you are in a relationship with is harming that relationship or making it worse if it’s already fragile, you need to question why. Our romantic relationships should not take away from the other relationships we have with our loved ones. In fact, they should enrich each other. If you find yourself losing touch with family and friends because of your boo, you should be on guard. Something isn’t right.
3. Your peace of mind
I will never understand the desire to make love harder than it is. Yes, I know we all have baggage and issues and a past. But it’s not a reason to make your relationship a real life soap opera. If you have time for that, you are not nearly busy enough. Or you are probably in a relationship with the wrong person. Trust that you are one million times better off alone than with someone who is going to further complicate your life and bring you nothing but drama. Keep your life and love peaceful.
4. Your financial independence
Money is a difficult area when it comes to relationships. And there also can be a gender bias in some relationships that could threaten how people feel. Either way, know that it in this day and age, there is no substitute for financial independence. Whether you make more or less than your partner, your financial independence should not be something up for compromise. Certainly, depending on how you plan on building a family, decisions will need to be made surrounding finance and career, but the communication should be clear and amicable for everyone.
5. Your future
The future is a delicate thing because you can only put so much planning into it. But there have been way too many cases of people giving up all their hopes and dreams and goals because of a relationship. It shouldn’t work like that. While you will have to compromise because that’s what relationships are all about, it should be exactly that – a compromise. Your boo, who should also be your friend and supporter, should want the best for you and your future.