8 Reasons Why Living With Him Won’t Get You Engagement Ring

Eight very real (and nonreligious) reasons AGAINST living together before marriage.

I see a lot of single women in my office, women who—despite being smart, successful and attractive—complain that the dating world isn’t being kind to them. To be sure, both single women and men must navigate a dating world that often seems long on narcissists and nutjobs, and short on nice and normal.

When it comes to women, their complaints are threefold: 1) They can’t meet a good man; 2) Men treat them with disrespect or indifference; and 3) They get stuck in dead-end relationships.

When I first sit down with a single woman who is looking for dating advice, I ask her a simple question: “What are you looking for?” A no-strings relationship? A co-habiting or common-law arrangement? A husband and legal marriage? If her answer is the latter, we take a critical look at her dating habits. What is she doing? Are her choices leading her to the life that she wants for herself?

Over the past decade or so, I’ve found there are a few common pitfalls that women who want to get married inadvertently fall into which, decreases their chances of getting married while they’re still young enough to walk down the aisle without stopping for breath. One of these pitfalls is living together before marriage.


I don’t come at this issue from a moral or religious standpoint. A woman is and should be free to decide what is best for her without being judged, controlled or condescended to by others. My advice is only for those women who want to marry and is based on studies as well as my professional experience.

Below are several reasons I believe living together is a bad choice if a woman wants to marry.

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